Inexplicably, the New York Post has published not one, but two, unflattering stories about Marc Jacobs in the last week. The first — written by Maureen Callahan, author of the recent and not especially sensational book Champagne Supernovas, about the bubbly rise of Jacobs, Alexander McQueen, and Kate Moss — concerned the health of the designer’s company, though it succeeded mostly in cobbling together old news.

However, the second article — found in the gossip section and crediting only “Page Six Team” as the byline — got personal in a retro gay-shaming way. It described an “all-male flesh bacchanal” that Jacobs hosted last weekend, via the gay sex app Grindr, in his Manhattan apartment. Clutch pearls! But, as it turns out, “people weren’t as good-looking as I expected,” said their source. “I expected Lorenzo Martone beautiful. They were average, chill people who didn’t have any attitude, which was really nice.” Sounds more like church service than a wanton man-on-man orgy that, if allowed to spread, could bring down civilization as we know it.

Combined, the stories packed as much scintillation as a plate of undercooked croque madame. But that didn’t stop Jacobs from taking to Instagram in his own defense (incidentally, the Instagram newbie posted — by accident, he says — a side-nude of himself a short while ago). His retorts are every bit as bitchy as you want them to be, ending with our new hashtag signature: #reallyqueen?…

An open letter to MAUREEN CALLAHAN
Girl, I think I understand your pain. You’re a sick woman. It must be such a sad, unfulfilling and lonely existence to get paid for “writing” (I use the term loosely) an article put together from out of context information “written” by other journalists over a period of time, for different periodicals, in different countries. I can’t even imagine your suffering having made a life and name working for what has to be the worlds worst, trashiest, and most irresponsible of “newspapers” (LOL)! I can imagine the powerful and fulfilling feeling you must feel with each piece you “write” that helps yourself and your readers feel better about their lives by putting down others who are so fortunate as to have been blessed with a genuine passion for creation. Those creative individuals who like everyone else has feelings, a sexual appetite, “issues”, character defects, and professional ups and downs. If you were a real writer and not the parasite feeding off of the successes and failures of others I wouldn’t bother writing my thoughts here. I do feel sorry for you. Please know you are in my prayers. I hope you will someday find something, somewhere that gives you pleasure…and not at another’s expense. Should that moment happen for you, please don’t thank me. I only wish the best for everyone. Even you. Sincerely and disrespectfully, Marc (Jacobs). #lethimwhoiswithoutsincastthefirststone #youwannacomeforme? via Instagram

Wild??? I’d say “MILD”. And to whichever guest benefitted from calling this misinformation into the Post, I only wish you good health, happiness, and a long life to enjoy taking advantage of the kindness of strangers and talking shit about others. #reallyqueen? via Instagram