Opening the 67th edition of the Cannes Film Festival, Grace of Monaco — starring Nicole Kidman as Grace Kelly — can conservatively be called an breathtaking disaster. That goes for both the film itself, which critics are slamming with swaths of colorful words (“so awe-inspiringly wooden that it is basically a fire-risk,” warns the Guardian), and the long lead-up to the premiere, which has seen clashes between Harvey Weinstein and director Olivier Dahan, as well as a wholesale dismissal by Monaco’s royal family, who called the film a “farce.”

Nonetheless, if the red carpet is good for one thing, it’s distracting attention away from abysmal failures. So Nicole Kidman and her supporting cast can thank their lucky stars that the afternoon screening today was followed by the festival’s opening ceremony, which can always be counted on for a heaping, heaving dose of dazzling distraction…