Michael Musto, Gossip Columnist

What did you do immediately before this questionnaire?
Try to think of a witty answer to that very question. No dice.

What will you do immediately following this questionnaire?
Play Charades. No, I’m serious.

What is your idea of bliss?
Wedge of iceberg with blue cheese, steak, apple pie a la mode, and sex.

What is your idea of misery?
Backstabbing people and cream sauce.

What is the strangest article of clothing in your closet?
An Aladdin outfit that I will finally get to wear if theme-park employment calls.

What would be the first sentence of your biography?
“He did it the hard way.”

What is your best personality trait?
Loyalty.

What is your worst personality trait?
Hypersensitivity.

Which fashion celebrities can you impersonate?
Donatella Versace as Monique as Joni Mitchell.

What is the best advice you’ve given?
“Find your voice.”

What is the best advice you’ve received?
“Don’t go into show biz.”

What is the most inspiring place you’ve visited?
The Vatican. Great sex in the bushes!

What is your most embarrassing fashion moment?
Dressing up in a crazy outfit for Warhol’s funeral. I assumed everyone would. Wrong!

What do you do when you’re creatively blocked?
Force a few words out, and then it inevitably starts flowing.

What is the most attractive quality in a person?
Integrity.

What is your favorite physical feature?
A hook nose.

What is your least favorite physical feature?
An overly surgerized nose.

What makes you feel the most alive?
Riding my bike around New York City.

Who was your favorite cartoon character as a child?
Ann Margrock.

What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
A CD of Diana Ross and The Supremes Sing and Perform “Funny Girl.”

What is the best gift you’ve ever given?
Forgiveness.

What historical figure would you most like to meet?
Hitler, to tell him off.

What is your most treasured possession?
My mind.

What have you marched in the streets for?
Act Up, anti-war, gay marriage.

What would you march in the streets for?
“Help the fashion victims!”