Mediagenic tele-everything Anderson Cooper is a newly out (and presumably always proud) gay man, thus given a trophy at the GLAAD Media Awards on Saturday night. Not one to miss an opportunity to surround herself with adoring gay men, Madonna attended the ceremony in her own version of of the Boy Scouts of American uniform, a navy camping shirt and shorts complete with badges, a kerchief, and a jaunty little hat. She also had on fingerless gloves, combat boots, and her ubiquitous fishnets—and she appeared to bind her breasts, because even she knows no one wants to see a Boy Scout with boobs.

Onstage, she said, “I wanted to be a boy scout, but they wouldn’t let me join. I think that’s fucked up. I can build a fire. I know how to pitch a tent. I have a very good sense of direction. I can rescue kittens from trees. Listen, I wanna do for the community. But most importantly, I know how to scout for boys.” At that point Anderson Cooper took the stage, they kissed on the mouth, and she grabbed his ass.