Has your life been devoid of aesthetic meaning since the (premature) demise of Gallery Girls? Worry not, the next edition of Art Basel Miami is just around the corner. The art world’s equivalent of spring break is infamous for jam-packed soirees, scandalous after-hours, oodles of star sightings, and, oh yeah, art. This year’s installment is gearing up to be the biggest one yet, so practice your art speak and perfect your hand-to-chin scowl as we take you through some of the highlights…

The New Kid: Untitled
We know what you’re thinking: the last thing the world needs is another art fair. However, the aptly titled Untitled fair is generating a good deal of buzz—and getting a jumpstart on the Basel action with its VIP opening on Tuesday. With a mixed bag of established and on-the-rise names, this one is definitely worth checking out. Plus, it’s in a tent on the beach, facilitating tanning.

The Hot Spot: Silencio
David Lynch’s cult den of mystery and decadence will be making a cameo at the FDR nightclub at the Delano Hotel. Look for the same crowd that has made this a must-stop during Paris Fashion Week: high-powered editors tailed by perma-posing designers tailed by well-gifted models tailed by their art-star boyfriends. We recommend that you find one or more of the above and hold on tight.

The Tried & True: Le Baron
The French contingency is well represented in Miami, and it wouldn’t be the same without Le Baron’s yearly gig. This time around there’s an interactive twist. The club will have a different location each night, revealed only online, à la Gossip Girl!

The Classy Joint: W Fetes Marilyn Monroe
Let’s not forget, Miami Basel is also a swanky affair with plenty of edification to go around. W will host a preview of Marilyn Forever, a collection of never-before-seen photographs of the silver-screen icon by Milton Green. In addition, our favorite editor-in-chief Stefano Tonchi will interview Diane von Furstenberg at Design Talks at Design Miami, good reason to getover your hangover.

The After-Party: Chanel/Gagosian
After-parties come and go, especially in Miami, but this one is shaping up to be a doozy. Mega-gallerist Larry Gagosian is partnering up with mega-label Chanel for the ultimate bash, celebrating the opening of Basel Miami at the Soho Beach House. Keep your Instagram handy—you’re gonna need it.