Not that we’re new to staying at home all day, shuffling around the apartment in only pajamas and booties (a thong and sandals—who are we kidding?), Sandy has given us official cover to do so. But as we trawl the depths of Twitter and follow link after dubious link, we’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to snap out of a zombie-like state of online rubbernecking is to banish the hurricane altogether. Herewith, Sandy-unrelated news that has momentarily held our attention today…

• While unconfirmed, a UK tabloid claims that Ian McKellen will star in a British sitcom called Vicious Old Queens. No word yet if James Franco will play one of them.

• E! Online reports that Robert Pattinson has signed a $12 million deal to become the face of Dior men’s fragrances for three years. That was one lucrative woe-is-me slog.

• Vivienne Westwood has created a T-shirt in support of Julian Assange and wore it on a visit with the WikiLeaks founder at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London.

• The International Olympic Committee has unveiled the official typeface for the Rio 2016 Olympic games. It’s curvy, because Portuguese punctuation is, too.

• The rumored luxury yacht designed by Philippe Starck for Steve Jobs exists, and it’s just been unveiled in the Netherlands. It’s big enough to house several Apple stores.

• Chloe Sevigny has signed on to star in A&E’s upcoming adaptation of the Danish thriller Those Who Kill, playing a detective who hunts down serial killers.

• Not related at all, comedian Drew Droege reprises his role as uber-pretentious fake Chloe Sevigny in a new viral video…