Set your “smizes” on stun because America’s Next Top Model returns tonight for the premiere of its 19th cycle. Yes, the sublimely abject model competition has been luring hopefuls for almost a decade, devising more torments than a Marquis de Sade novella. Would-be supes have endured walking on water in giant bubbles, runways on fire, hanging from buildings, and being covered with maggots—all suffering in the name of high fashion and mediocre ratings.
But Tyra Banks assures The Hollywood Reporter that this season is revamped and rebooted, leaving all the old formulas behind. This is a new, raw, cinema verite Top Model, witnessed by the much-publicized shake-up of judges. Gone are the lame themes like Shorties or British Invasion…oh wait, this is College Edition. Gone are the overly manicured Mr. & Miss Jay…oh wait, they’ve merged into a single Bryanboy. Gone is the leering, hunky, shaved-headed dude with an English accent…oh wait, Rob Evans will be flexing his judging muscle (who we’re actually excited about).
We’re happy to see that Tyra’s Harvard education was put to good use. Apparently even Tyler Perry will be stopping by for an acting challenge. Tyler Perry’s Medea Goes to Top Model? It’s bound to happen.