Simon Doonan went on Conan last night to discuss his new book, Gay Men Don’t Get Fat. The topic of the evening: man boobs. Here are the funniest things he said…

• “There’s a horrible epidemic of man boobs, and I keep telling…people are clutching their man boobs now, I can see it [points to audience].”
  – “No one likes them. There aren’t fetish clubs for people who like man boobs. Man boobs are like hyenas, and mosquitoes, and red ants, and sharks. They don’t need to exist. They’re horrible. So I’m on a one-man campaign to rid the world of man boobs.”
  – “A lot of straight dudes, they don’t really care. They’re, like, farting and watching TV. They don’t care about their man boobs. We need to make them care. Girls, right? They’re unacceptable, am I right?”
  – “Also, if you tell them they’re serving drinks at the gym or they have naked women there, that’ll get them there too.”

Here’s the video. The ads are annoying, so you may just want to read the quotes above…