One Sentence or Less

Glenn O’Brien, Writer

What did you do immediately before this questionnaire?
I planted strawberries and pulled weeds.

What will you do immediately following this questionnaire?
Cook dinner.

What is your idea of bliss?
Stay home, play some bridge, drink some wine and eat some caviar, go to bed.

What is your idea of misery?
Economy class.

What is the strangest article of clothing in your closet?
I guess my Supreme hoodie that says “Illegal Business controls America.”

What is your proudest moment?
Being a father.

What is your greatest regret?
Not marrying my wife earlier and going for a daughter.

What would be the first sentence of your biography?
“I always skip the first chapter in biographies.”

What catchphrase do you use the most?
It was “Fuck that!” until my three-year-old started saying it.

What is your best personality trait?
Telling the truth.

What is your worst personality trait?
Telling the truth.

Which fashion celebrities can you impersonate?
I can do Charles James (he was a trip), I can do Calvin, and I can do Stephen Sprouse without even saying anything.

What is the best advice you’ve given?
Say no more.

What is the best advice you’ve received?
Give me the car keys.

What is the most inspiring place you’ve visited?

What is your most embarrassing fashion moment?
Not recognizing Donna Karan.

What is your most triumphant fashion moment?
Maybe when Jean-Paul Goude said I was the perfect vision of manliness.

What do you do when you’re creatively blocked?
Vacuum or do the dishes.

What is the most attractive quality in a person?
Being funny.

What is your favorite physical feature?
Not that there’s anything exceptional about it but I’ve always enjoyed my Johnson.

What is your least favorite physical feature?
My feet.

What makes you feel the most alive?
Waking up with wood.

What is your best talent, after your work?
It seems like everything I do is work, but I’m a pretty good DJ.

What would you ask for if you were granted one wish?
Absolute power.

What was the last thing that made you laugh uncontrollably?
Watching Woody Allen’s Whatever Works with Larry David on a transatlantic flight—I scared everybody in business class.

What is your greatest fear?
Pentecostal Christian Air Force officers.

What has been your greatest loss?
My second wife getting half of my art collection.

Who was your favorite cartoon character as a child?
Bugs Bunny.

What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
The art that my artist friends have given me.

What is the best gift you’ve ever given?
Important jewelry.

What historical figure would you most like to meet?
Edward de Vere, the 17th Earl of Oxford, or Wyndham Lewis.

What is your most treasured possession?
My house in the woods.

What have you marched in the streets for?
Against various wars.

What would you march in the streets for?
Independence from the U.S. for New York and New England.

What is your drag name? (name of first pet + name of first street)
Elvis Edgewater.

If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
Remembering everyone’s name.

If you made a parody of a song and video, what would it be?

If you could erase one memory, what would it be?
I forget.

If you could live out one fantasy, what would it be?
Getting my Warhol bio script directed by Paul Thomas Anderson.

If you could change your life in one way, what would it be?
The Megamillions Jackpot would do me fine.