One Sentence or Less

Simon Doonan: Writer, Bon Vivant, Window Dresser, Fashion Commentator

What did you do immediately before this questionnaire?
I gulped down a green tea from Starbucks.

What will you do immediately following this questionnaire?
I am in Seattle, so naturally I will go out and look for some grunge.

What is your idea of bliss?
Paddle-boarding with my husband.

What is your idea of misery?
Any medical procedure.

What is the strangest article of clothing in your closet?
Paul Smith made me a gorgeous jacket out of his mum’s old curtains.

What is your proudest moment?
Appearing in the Kim Carnes video for Bette Davis Eyes in the early 80s.

What is your greatest regret?
Falling asleep during a Jimi Hendrix concert in 1970 and missing Voodoo Chile.

What catchphrase do you use the most?
Attention, girls!

What is your worst personality trait?
I am always rabbiting on about myself.

What is the best advice you’ve given?
Throw away your work clothes and wear party clothes for the rest of your life.

What is the best advice you’ve received?
Never shove your granny when she’s shaving.

What is the most attractive quality in a person?

What is your favorite physical feature?
I am obsessed with good legs and mine are incredible.

What is your least favorite physical feature?
I am a midget because my legs are too short.

What is your best talent, after your work?
I am great at fixing broken toilets.

What would you ask for if you were granted one wish?
I want my Jonny and my dog Liberace to live as long as me, or vice versa.

What is your greatest fear?
An agonizing death in a bad frock.

What has been your greatest loss?
Losing all my friends to AIDS in the early 80s.

What was your favorite cartoon character as a child?
I was born in the 18th Century and there were no cartoons back then.

What would you march in the streets for?
Political campaign financing reform.

What is your drag name? (name of first pet + name of first street)
Dandy Priest

If you could live out one fantasy, what would it be?
Playing center forward for Chelsea Football Club—soccer to you!

Look for Simon Doonan’s new book, Gay Men Don’t Get Fat, on January 5, 2012.