Versace for H&M, a Return to Glory

Versace’s thumping fashion show, high-octane performances by Prince and Nicki Minaj, and maniacal shopping extravaganza for its H&M collaboration last night weren’t just a revival of Gianni’s so-80s style. They were a reminder of how fashion events used to be, before the global economic plunge. Which is to say big, brash and expensive. Here are our impressions, in case our breathless tweets last night weren’t enough…

  • Gang’s all here, boozing and schmoozing.
    – Every seat is front row. Nice.
    – Some people are already wearing the collection. Mark Ronson is in a head-to-toe pink suit. Emma Roberts has on some kind of printed corset bodysuit.
    – It’s a good night for colored hair. Debbie Harry’s is fright-white and Nicki Minaj is rocking a frosted green wig with palm fronds sticking out.
    – Linda Evangelista looks flawless, still. Is she rubbing ground-up angel wings on her skin or something?
    – Show is super late. Who can we blame? Blake Lively? Jessica Alba? Ke$ha?
    – Oh, no, it’s Prince, who just arrived to a round of applause from the room.
    – Now, finally, the show is starting. Skinny, sexy things in catsuits and taut leather boom-booming down the runway.
    – We love the headbands tied over long straight hair. Very Steven Meisel.
    – Donatella took her finale and an entire wall opened up behind her with a stage and more bars. She’s beckoning us in.
    – Nicki Minaj has taken the stage and she’s werquing it. Rap sure takes a lot of memorizing.
    – Nicki has a lot of sass. We like her little girl’s voice. We’ll overlook some of her questionable lyrics involving a sex act with Michael Kors.
    – And now, after an absolute age, Prince has come onstage. The man still has loads of presence. Donatella is beaming.
    – Prince isn’t a fan of camera phones. “Put your cameras down and participate,” he says.
    – All the childrens bobbing their heads to the slow burn of Purple Rain weren’t born when it first came out. To them, we say welcome.
    – Now it’s shopping time and it looks like it’s gonna be a stampede. We’re packed liked sardines in heels, waiting for security to let us through.
    – It’s mayhem. Mannequins are tumbling left and right and people are grabbing clothes from other people’s loot. 
    – Smacked in the face with a shopping bag. Too much for us, we’re out.

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