totally made-up plot lines we’d love to see in the new episodes of Absolutely Fabulous, airing this fall with the original cast…

• Edina gets it in her head that she’s a gay man trapped in a woman’s body, but stops hormone therapy when a photo of aggressive back hair appears in a tabloid.

• Patsy goes to rehab when she’s unwittingly the subject of Intervention, but is asked to leave after she sneaks out and has an epic bender involving hand jobs for Klonopin.

• To revive her lagging career, Edina starts a bogus charity to help Yemeni orphans, but ends up with a fatwa against her after unknowingly insulting Mohammed.

• Patsy and Edina attend the Met Ball in custom McQueen, but get lost among the statuary in a distant room of the museum and fight over a single M&M Patsy finds in her hair.

• Edina has a one-night stand with a Pakistani diplomat and accidentally supplies top-secret cables to Wikileaks, but blames it on Saffron, who’s placed in solitary confinement indefinitely.