New music for the one-track-minded…

You’re old enough to start returning some favors. One of them is to watch the just-released video for the first single from the new Beastie Boys album, Hot Sauce Committee Pt. 2 (out May 3). You may recall that the track, Make Some Noise, was leaked on the Internet a couple of weeks ago, forcing the band to share the audio on Tumblr.

Today came the video, the real attraction. Basically, it’s a celebrity cameo jerkoff in both a thumbs-up and a middle-finger to those celebs, or themselves, or maybe to us—it’s unclear, but in a very ironic, well-produced, B Boys way. You have Elijah Wood impersonating one of the band members (the little one), a gold chain-dripping Seth Rogen playing another one, and a guy we don’t recognize playing the third. They go on a drunken rampage through the streets of New York, breaking into delis for beer, insulting waiters (Steve Buscemi) and random women (Amy Poehler). At one point, Elijah slips into the back of a white limo and tries to pick up a rocker chick (Chloe Sevigny). Oh, and Will Ferrell is the limo driver—he’s ringing a cowbell. And was that Kirsten Dunst? Mind you, this is the version reduced from 30 to 5 minutes.

We get it. It’s meant to be meta and retro (License to Ill turns 25 this year). It definitely is those things, but kind of isn’t. It looks like what eating oneself must feel like. Regardless, it doesn’t really matter because it’s your duty as an eternal Beastie Boys fan to watch it and love it and fondly remember moments of previous hilarity from the trio.

(Apparently MTV has the exclusive video rights and they haven’t uploaded it to YouTube or Vimeo, so you can watch here on MTV’s own, clunky, non-embeddable player.)