Not Just a Lip Balm, But the Next Best Thing to a Morphine Drip

You know they’re running out of ideas when you start seeing lip balms in vegetable flavors. Okay, cherry balm might have fallen out of flavor, but does that mean we have to have broccoli lips? Maybe the best flavor of all is the absence of one; or rather, the absence of all sensation. Enter Morphine Lips, a stick with a slightly peachy scent that causes a subtle yet noticeable numbing of the lips. Each applied dose feels illicit, provocative and possibly addictive, but actually isn’t. The active ingredient isn’t morphine or any controlled substance (it’s Benzocaid), but you don’t have to tell that to the person you’re planning to gently paralyze with a kiss. Eventually, after a few minutes, a tingling signals your lips are coming back to life—and with no withdrawal. It’s the next best thing to a morphine drip. $17.50 at Morphinelips.com

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