Flyer on the Wall: Rick Owens

Even if you can’t make it to Rick Owens’ soiree tonight in Paris, Vaginal Davis—morally corrupt drag intellectual, performance artist, and larger-than-life walking hilariousness—has provided a note with the invite that will keep you highly entertained. (It takes us back to our now-legendary interview with Rick)…

MY DARLING GOOD RICK,

ISN’T IT ODD THAT JUST THE OTHER DAY I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT HIGH TEA GARDEN PARTY I THREW AT FERTILE LA TOYAH JACKSON’S OLD FLAT ACROSS THE STREET FROM YOUR ART DECO APT ON GRACE AVENUE, RIGHT OFF HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT SOIRÉE? THIS WAS BACK IN THE 1980S AND I HAD JUST HAD A MINI LOVE AFFAIR WITH THAT DIMINUTIVE FRENCH SHOE DESIGNER BERNARD FIGUEROA AND YOU WERE SO NICE DRIVING US AND HIS BRITTLE LITTLE NELLY FRIEND ILYA WITH A BIG HERPES SORE ON HIS LIP TO THE BLACK GAY DISCO CATCH ONE IN DEEPEST DARKEST FUNKYTOWN, WHERE THE MINUTE THEY GOT INSIDE THEY DITCHED US TO CHOW DOWN ON HUGE JUBAS JUBILEE ROUGHNECK PENIS.

I LOVED THAT OLD APARTMENT YOU HAD ON GRACE AVE, WITH THE WALLS COVERED IN MOULDING PEACOCK FEATHER FABRIC. I LIKE HOW TOM FORD WAS VISITING WITH DAVID HOCKNEY IN THE HILLS WHILE WE WERE SITTING ON CRACK CORNER IN THE FLATS. AT THE CORNER ON FRANKLIN WAS THAT GORGEOUS VILLA THAT USED TO BE OWNED BY CECIL B. DEMILLE WHERE DIVINE DIED.

I REMEMBER SHOPPING WITH HER ON HOLLYWOOD BLVD AT THE BARGAIN BASEMENT OF PLAYMATES AND AT BY GEORGE, THE HABERDASHERY THAT SPECIALIZED IN SEXY MALE LINGERIE. DIVINE BOUGHT A SEE-THROUGH CAFTAN WITH A PAISLEY PRINT. THEN WE MADE THE ROUNDS AT THE CAHUENGA CORRIDOR DIVE BARS, THE LEMON DROP LOUNGE, MY PLACE, BOB’S FROLIC 2, FIREFLY, WHERE THEY LIT THE ENTIRE BAR TOP ON FIRE EVERY HOUR, AND ENDING THE EVENING AT THE PISS DE LA ELEGANZA OF WELFARE WATERING HOLES, THE SPOTLIGHT, ALSO KNOWN AS THE SPOTLIGHT PUB & HOSPITALITY EMPORIUM. I THINK RICK CASTRO, THE BAD RICK, CHRISTENED IT THAT.

THE GREAT THING ABOUT THE SPOTLIGHT IS THAT SERIOUS ALCOHOLICAS LIKE US COULD ZIP OVER WHEN IT OPENED AT 6 A.M. FOR A WAKE UP COCKTAIL. JERRY THE WONDERFUL SCOTTISH BARTENDER MADE THOSE EXTREMELY POTENT VODKA GIMLETS. AND SINCE I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO DRIVE A CAR, AND ONLY TOOK THE BUS, IT DIDN’T MATTER THAT I LIVED IN A PERPETUALLY HAMMERED STATE. BACK IN THE 1980S THERE WOULD ALWAYS BE A DOBERMAN PINSCHER OR GERMAN SHEPARD SITTING ON A BAR STOOL LIKE HE WAS HUMAN, AND AMAZING FIGHTS WOULD BREAK OUT BETWEEN THE ROUGH TRADE CONCUBINES WITH NAMES LIKE ANIMAL, OR SPIDER OR EYEBALL. SOME EVENINGS AN AMBULANCE JUST STAYED PARKED OUT FRONT. IT WAS OUR COLONY ROOM / MAX’S KANSAS CITY WITH IT’S OWN CREATURES IN THE BACK ROOM; THERE WAS RON ATHEY, A FORMER CHILD EVANGELIST WHO EVENTUALLY BECAME AN N.E.A. OFFENDING ARTIST FOR HIS ASS-CENTRIC PERFORMANCES – WEREN’T YOU SMITTEN WITH HIM AT ONE TIME? THERE WAS GODDESS BUNNY WHO ALWAYS HAD A YOUNG BOY TO PUSH HER WHEELCHAIR OR IF SHE DIDN’T SHE PUSHED IT BACKWARDS WITH HER TAP SHOES. THERE WAS WANDA THE MAN, MAY HE REST IN PEACE, WHO OF COURSE HAD A 2 DAY ORGYNA IN YOUR APT WHEN YOU WERE AWAY AND TRADED YOUR TV FOR MORE DRUGS. AND WHEN KEMBRA PFAHLER WAS IN TOWN WITH HER BAND,THE VOLUPTUOUS HORROR OF KAREN BLACK, SHE WOULD DO NUDE MODELING PAINTED BLUE ON THE CARS PARKED OUT FRONT. GLADYS MAY AND HER SON STEPHEN MAY AND HIS BOYFRIEND JEFF JUDD AKA JOLI, RUMOURED TO ALL SLEEP TOGETHER, WOULD SOMETIMES COME BY IN HEAD TO TOE MUGLER, IN A CLOUD OF GUERLAIN’S VETIVER. AND NOW JEFF HAS DONE THE MUSIC FOR EVERY ONE OF YOUR RUNWAY SHOWS…..AND THEN THE SPOTLIGHT IS WHERE YOU AND MICHELE ENDED MOST EVENINGS DURING YOUR EARLY COURTSHIP WHILE HER LES DEUX CAFÉ WAS BEING BUILT A FEW BLOCKS AWAY. AND OF COURSE I WOULD BE THERE WITH GLENDA. DO YOU REMEMBER THE TIME GLENDA PERFORMED ONE OF HIS BORN AGAIN GAY CHRISTIAN SONGS THROUGH A MEGAPHONE INTO THE EAR OF A BOUND AND GAGGED GUEST HANGING UPSIDE DOWN FROM THE CEILING OF MISSTRESS ANTOINETTES HOUSE IN THE VALLEY? I THINK THERE’S A HELMUT NEWTON PICTURE OF THAT SOMEWHERE……OF COURSE I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT TIME WHEN I LEFT MY NEARBY APARTMENT AT THE KARNAK WITH THE EGYPTIAN PYLON FAÇADE TO PICK YOU UP FOR DINNER AT ROSCOE’S CHICKEN & WAFFLES, AFTER WHICH WE WENT TO THE SPOTLIGHT. PARKED IN FRONT IN THIS LARGE WHITE LIMO WAS LITTLE RICHARD AND POSSE. ONE OF HIS HANDLERS MOTIONED US TO COME TO THE CAR WINDOW, AND LITTLE RICHARD HIMSELF POPPED HIS HEAD OUT, AND GAVE US A SIGNED COPY OF WHAT HE SAID WAS HIS NEW BEST SELLING BOOK, THAT HAD HIS PICTURE ON IT. LITTLE RICHARD ALWAYS USED TOO LIGHT OF A FOUNDATION, GIVING HIS FACE AN ASHY PALLOR. WHEN WE GOT INSIDE THE BAR AND OPENED THE BOOK, IT WAS JUST A COPY OF THE BIBLE.

LOVE AND KISSY KISSTACE

VAGINAL DAVIS PRINZESSIN VON HO!HENZOLLERN BERLIN 2010

Leave a comment