We love Dior for the theater. We love Dior for John Galliano. We love Dior for the publicist who beautifully writes everyone’s names on a card and ties it to their seat. And certainly there’s a Dior customer who laps the clothes up. 

For spring, Galliano landed on a naval base in the South Pacific, or so the show notes said. There was also a quote from Bettie Page. What we read was what we got: models with Bettie Page bangs and lashings of tropical prints. Some wore jaunty nautical caps and sailor pants, others were in barely-there chiffon or breezy gowns. They had clearly all been directed to strike a pin-up pose at the end of the catwalk. Cue salutes, winks, tilting of sunglasses, and seductive wiggles.

When you break it down, there were some gorgeous pieces. But as a collection, it was simply too long and a little exhausting. Even the photographers bolted before the dramatic build-up to John’s catwalk bow. He was, of course, dressed as a sailor—or was it a pirate?