It’s no secret that Madonna has taken her Vogue dictum—“Beauty’s where you find it”—as a lifelong credo. But apparently, as the clock ticks, it takes more than your own imagination to maintain it. In fact, if you tallied the annual cost of the Material Girl’s treatments and potions, it would add up to the income of a hedge fund manager or the CEO of a multi-national—pre-recession, of course. The Daily Mirror estimates the material price of Madge’s beauty regimens to be in the neighborhood of £562,600 a year (or close to $900,000). For that much cash, we’d assume this includes regular, hefty doses of that serum from Death Becomes Her, but it seems these are the costs of some old-fashioned, real-world treatments: her beloved Crème de la Mer cream, a daily session with a radiofrequency device, “gyrotonic expansion system sessions” (honestly, we’re scared to look that up) and, of course, Kabbalah water—which seems sensible by comparison. We’d like to say it’s all worth it, but might it be cheaper just to buy a new body?