One Sentence or Less

Stephen Jones, Milliner

What did you do immediately before this questionnaire?
I sniffed a Blue Moon rose in my garden.

What will you do immediately following this questionnaire?
Check all the emails from Antwerp (they’re an hour ahead of me) about the upcoming show at MOMU.

What is your idea of bliss?
Karlie Kloss’ face when I put her cellophane mask on at the Dior couture show a few days ago.

What is your idea of misery?
When it fell off three seconds later.

What is the strangest article of clothing in your closet?
A men’s YSL silk shirt I bought a season ago—it’s actually a dress.

What is your proudest moment?
Getting my OBE medal.

What is your greatest regret?
Turning down Karl Lagerfeld five times when he first went to Chanel.

What would be the first sentence of your biography?
Don’t look before you leap.

What catchphrase do you use the most?
Silence, because I’m too tired!

What is your best personality trait?
I don’t give up.

What is your worst personality trait?
As above.

What is your second Google email alert?
Get a huge cock.

What is your most embarrassing fashion moment?
Getting out of a car with Divine for the premiere of Polyester, and my taffeta trousers (homemade) split and fell to the ground.

What is your most triumphant fashion moment?
Runway for Gaultier.

What do you do when you’re creatively blocked?
Gin or head or both.

What is your favorite physical feature?

What is your least favorite physical feature?
You said one sentence!

What would you ask for if you were granted one wish?
That the place that made top hat fabric reopened.

What is your greatest fear?
Leaving John’s new collection on the Eurostar.

What has been your greatest loss?
About 35 pounds in ’88, and I wish I could do it now.

What historical figure would you most like to meet?
The person who did the pattern for Schiap’s shoe hat.

What is your most treasured possession?
My new DayGlo lavender plastic Vivienne Westwood loafers.

What have you marched in the streets for/against?
I marched against Margaret Thatcher and for Gay Pride.

What’s your drag name? (Name of first pet + name of first street)
Lulu Promenade (very Easter Parade—can’t you just see the hat?)

If you made a parody of a song, what would it be?
I’d just sing the Fashion Pack by Amanda Lear.

If you could erase one memory, what would it be?
Saying to Marc, it’ll be okay, and it wasn’t.

If you could live out one fantasy, what would it be?
Be a stay-at-home mom.

If you could change your life in one way, what would it be?
Je ne regrette rien.