In omg-we-shoulda-seen-this-coming theater news, The Kills frontman and Kate Moss paramour Jamie Hince is reportedly writing a play (yes, a play) based on his girlfriend’s life, with literary support from the supe herself. Topshop heavyweight and Moss ally Sir Philip Green is said to be backing the venture, all but guaranteeing the script will see the light of day. While details are scarce, the play will apparently also include some of Moss’ celeb pals, who may not take kindly to the couple’s less-than-fictional characterizations. Although, since a lot of these peeps are basically caricatures themselves, we’re not quite sure how much damage Hince’s poison pen can really wield. We’re totally gunning for a ghosts-from-coke-parties-past vignette, starring Donatella, Pete and Naomi.